who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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