Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
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Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
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In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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