Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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