this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
