woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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