is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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