i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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