Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
