And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
