There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
