Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
