take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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