we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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