Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
