he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
