it wasn't lemon gatorade
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
