oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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