Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
