So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
