Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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