Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize