I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
