he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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