Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Randomize
