Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
