thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
