I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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