Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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