Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
