yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I need to stop coming to work sober
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
