did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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