i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
