I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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