Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm too high and old for this...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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