wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
