im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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