Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
