This girl is more easily done than said...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
