I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
