"it" just moved
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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