i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
