He had one of those small greek statue penises
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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