Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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