Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
