member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
