it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
