I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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