I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
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you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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