dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
