she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize