dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
