I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
