Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
