I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
