just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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