The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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