Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
