My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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