He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
