Where is the hickey?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
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I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
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I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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