Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
