True but thats because hes a fetus.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
