all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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