We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
