I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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