Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
