I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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