paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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