I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
